Thursday, May 1, 2014

A little for you and a little for me.

Dear Will,

Good morning son!  I needed to say that as I didn't get to see you before I headed off to work this morning and I was thinking about you a lot last night and when I woke up this morning.  I was thinking mostly about the fun times we had lad night playing and all of us, even Gabby, piled into our bed after your bath to watch a movie.  You couldn't have been more excited to have all of us there and to be honest it was a blast.

This got me thinking about love and how much I love your mom and you kids.  See a good relationship goes through ups and downs, mostly ups as anyone who is in love tries to minimize the downs.  Your mom and I don't have many downs and when we do we try to work them out together with honest communication.  We are far from perfect and both know that we will not always see eye to eye on everything.  That might sound like a bad thing, but it is exactly the opposite.  Any good relationship takes hard work to make it work.  So what does it mean to work hard relationship?  Well, for your mom and I it means giving the other person what they want as much as they can w/o hurting anyone.  For example I tell your mom she is beautiful everyday.  That is something I have done our entire relationship.  I try to help cleanthe house after you mess it up, cook, rub her back or shoulders if she has had a hard day.  I also listen, but your mom might say I talk to much.  I suppose I do, but I mean well.

The lesson here is to put other's needs, even if they are small, before your own.  Not allof the time, but most of the time.  If you give a little then it is ok to ask for a little.  Your mom does tons of stuff for me and we are good at the give and take.  It isn't always easy, but that is what makes the hard work worth it.  In your future relationships try to make your partner feel loved.  This isn't about sex or making out, this is about kindness, putting him or her first often enough so that they feel it.  When you enjoy doing for others it becomes intoxicating.  You want to please because it makes you feel good.  There is nothign wrong with feeling great about giving...just make sure it is a two way street and you don't get taken advantage of. That is a fine line to walk and will take practice.  You will get hurt many times before you understand what works best for you. The great thing is that when you find someone who shares this type of thinking...well that is when love happens.  That my boy is why love can be so wonderful.  That is why I love your mom so much.

Rule:  If you get married you have to put your spouse first above everyone else.

You have very little say in being a part of a family.  You didn't pick me as a dad the same way I didn't pick you as a son.  We just happened to be stuck together...for which I am grateful.  I did however, chose to be with your mom and that choice is one of my greatest ones ever.  You will not choose your spouse's family and I hope you love them as your own, but you might not.  They might irritate the hell out of you, but they come with your spouse.  No matter what you deal with, your wife comes often as is needed.  You have to be the rock she anchors herself to.

All for now.

Love ya


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