Wednesday, April 30, 2014

MOPAR or no car!

Dear Will,

I wanted to talk to you today about having favorite things and what that means as you get older.  Right now as a 2 year old boy you have a few things you love.  Movies, chocolate (we are going to blame your mom for that), and of course your blue jacket.  I too have my favorite things and while it would make me the happiest dad ever if my favorite things became your favorite things, I want you to make up your own mind...with a few exceptions the we will tackle along the way.

The number one rule in our house is that at no time in your life will you be allowed or will it be tolerated to root or like the New York Yankees.  We root for the Boston Red Sox and that is something you were born into and have to adopt as your own.  Sorry pal, but this one is being decided for you.  You will understand as you get older why, but this is just one of those things you have to go with me on.

In the big picture in all of this is the idea that we all have things we like and you shouldn't let others dictate that to you.  Yeah I know I am dictating the Red Sox to you, but that is a good thing.  Someday you are going to find yourself in a place where others disagree with what you like and you might feel a bit uncomfortable.  It is ok for others to have their opinions, just as it is ok for you to have yours.  Your opinion tells other people who you are by allowing them to see what you like and dislike.  You and I will not always like the same things and we both know we will not always agree on what you are doing, but I will learn to listen and respect your opinions.  That leads us to the next rule you need to learn.

I stole this from Stephen Covey

Rule:  Seek first to understand then to be understood.

What this means is to listen to others before asserting yourself or your opinions onto others.  Listen to others to gain new perspectives, new ideas, or to strengthen your own arguments.  I get annoyed by people constantly telling me what to think, how to feel, and what is right and wrong.  In the end it is up to you just as it is up to me to make my own decisions.  Yet, I listen to what other folks have to say to guide me.  Your mom is a huge help to me except for when it has to deal with cars, motorcycles, the house, you, your sister, and most other things.  :)  Yet I love all of her and her help.  Remember the earlier rule.  A happy wife is a happy life.

You can see in my links some of my favorite things ad who knows maybe they will become some of your favorite things.  Just remember to think for yourself and listen to others just for knowledge sake.

Love ya!


Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Families aren't always what you read about in story books.

Dear Will,

I wanted to take a brief moment to explain our family to you so that you have on record how we all came to be.  Let us begin with the obvious info.  You belong to mommy and I, we are your parents and you were our little miracle as mom and I loved each other very much.  You also have a sister Gabby, whom you have called Bobby ever since you could talk.  We love her very much, but you two have different mothers.  See mom and I were both married to different people before we met each other.  While I was married before, I had Gabby with her mom.  Your mom did not have any children before you as she was waiting to have you with me...that is what I tell myself. :)

You know mommy's parents (grammy and gramps) her sisters and their husbands (Uncle Dave and Aunt Kate, their kids Sophie and Jack) and then there is mommy's other sister (Uncle Kevin and Aunt Kristy).  I don't have parents like mom has.  You see my parents are bad people and either they did not want to be in our lives or we chose to eliminate then from our family.  So my family is now you, Gabby, and mom and all of her family.  They are all wonderful people and your grandfather used to ride Harleys a bunch, but no longer does.  We will talk about that another time.

The point to all of this back ground besides a simple explanation is that family is so much more than who you are related to by blood.  In fact I have few blood relatives that I actually call family.  See family to me are people who look out for you, love you for all of the good stuff and help you fix the bad stuff.  Take Uncle Eddie and Aunt Nancy for example.  They are wonderful people we met when we moved into our house.  They love you so much that they became like family to us.  You have and will learn so much about cars, fixing stuff, and motorcycles from Uncle Eddie (that is how I learned) and Aunt Nancy is one of the most positive and happy people you will ever meet.  If you end up being grumpy like Uncle Eddie and I then you need an Aunt Nancy to keep you happy.

Anyway, my point in all  of this is to let you know that some day you might get married and have more family.  You don't get to pick them, but if your wife is a wonderful person, most likely she will have great family.  Mom and I want you to know that you will always have us to lean on or kick you in the paqnts if need be, but whatever you seek we will deliver with love.

You are an aazing little boy already and we love you loads.

Until next time.

Love Dad

Friday, April 25, 2014

Remembering fondly

Dear Will,

As usual I got up with you this morning with you upset and wanting mommy, which is a typical routine we have.  You see our relationship is a strange one that ebbs and flows between happy and "get away from me."  The latter being a bit harder for me to deal with.  I love you pal and always will no matter what you do, however you and I show it a bit differently.  Sure your mom is great to cuddle do you think you got here, but you and I tend to compete for her attention.  You usually win you little stinker.

While you most likely will have little memory of this, your current favorite thing is to eat a cookie (which you call titty making me laugh every time) and watch a movie.  This morning it was Cinderella and your favorite part are the mice messing with the cat.  You giggle and squeal as though you funniest ever.  I need to video tape it and link it here so you can see what you were like when you were a wee boy.  It is one of my favorite times of the day.  Your smile and laugh are pure joy and unlike anything you see on an adult.  Shame as it is contagious.

I didn't have much today to share other than what was posted, but I love you Will, you are my boy and I love everyday we have together.

Rule #2

Your mom is always right, even when she is wrong she is just testing us.  A happy wife equals a happy life.

Love ya,


Thursday, April 24, 2014

Will, I hope you know how much I love you.

My dear boy.

I have thought about writing to you ever since you were in your mom's belly.  I was so excited to meet you that I never made myself write down my thoughts about being your dad.  I thought now that you are just 2 that I might be able to put into to words how crazy I am about being your dad and some life  lessons I can try to pass on.  I do hope that we have many wonderful conversations that allow me to impart my wisdom or whatever you might think of it onto you.  You know I didn't have a dad growing up, so my hope is that we learn a few lessons together.  Write our own history together if you will.  So let me paint a picture of your first two years with me as best I can in hopes you get a glimpse of what it was like inthe beginning.

March 1st, 2012

Today was your birthday and we had this plkanned as you were a c-section birth.  Your were all twisted in some sort of strange yoga pose and well couldn't be born normally.  I want you to remember that word normal as you have yet to be the normal child.  So there you were born around 10ish I think and you came out screaming with your legs pointed towards your head.  Almost like a doll withthe legs turned up.  It was odd, but there you were my boy.  I was pretty excited, but worried about your mom as she had a difficult time with the birth and I wanted to make sure she was ok.  You were having some small issues with breathing onyour own the way the doctors took you away from us and I was not happy.  I know they needed to, but well, you were my son and I wanted to protect you.

You spent the next several hours in the intensive care unit for babies.  I visited you many times and I have to admit it broke my heart to see you in this state.  Thank goodness it didn't last long and you were with us later that day.  I will never forget how small and fragile you looked and how helpless I felt.  Worst feeling ever for a dad for sure!  Your mom also had some issues after you came and so we spent a few extra days in the hospital aking sure everyone was ok.  I couldn't wait until we could take you home.

Your first two years of life seem like a blur to me.  We loved you so much and mom and i often argued who held you or gave you a bottle.  Typically it was during the night when we would begin pushing each other out of bed to take care of you.  I never slept so I typically took you in the morning before I went back to work.  One of our best moments with you was figuring out the diaper on a boy issue.  You would pee all over the place when your diaper was on or wet all through your clothes and bed.  Finally we figured out the problem and began to "tuck" you away in the diaper and the problem was solved.  We laughed about that for a long time.

You and I have a long future ahead of us, so that is all for today.  We will pick this up soon, as I have loads to share.

I wanted to end each note with a rule that I want you to follow.  Now, remember I didn't have any father guiding me, so these are rules I have learned on my own or seem like common sense.

Rule #1:  Never hit a girl, for any reason.  No matter what it is, no one will understand and never be on your side.

Love ya buddy.