Thanks Ralph!

Dear Will,

I will admit that it is my hope that I will be your superhero for years to come.  No I cannot fly, lift buildings up with one hand, or shoot toxic boogers from my nose.  I had my favorite superheroes when I was young and I loved Batman (I still do) as well as Superman and the Green Lantern.  Yet as I got older those superheroes changed to fit the particular "thing" I was into at the moment.

Today I still have heroes, but they are different and my idea of a hero is more people I admire or truly enjoy their contributions to my world.  For example our current President of the US is Barack Obama and I might not always agree with his policies or actions, but he is my President and has earned my respect.  His job is the most difficult job in the world and he deserves (as do any former or future presidents) our respect.

Then there are the people who make our lives better by creating passion...passion that fuels our desires, dreams, and adventures.  So Will, my current hero is Ralph Gilles the current man in charge at SRT.  Some day when you read this Ralph might be in another position or another company.  However, today May 21st, 2014 he has once again made me very happy.  While I know you are aware of my love for MOPAR cars, I particularly enjoy the SRT division which is the more powerful and better cars atmo. (I'll explain atmo later)

Today is the day after Dodge and more importantly Ralph launched this!

2015 Dodge Challenger Hellcat and it could be the most beautiful and exquisitely performing car I will ever get to drive.  I don't know if we will ever be able to own one w/o winning the lottery, but it would be my dream to.  This is the car I dream about owning with you son.  I want us to work on it, drive together on awesome roads, and have adventures in this car or type of car.  I hope some day to pass down a car like this to you as you will love it as much as I do.  I hope your love for cars grows from its current state (love of match box cars) to where we can share the joy together.

Heroes are normal people who do amazing things.  The men and women in the military, police, firemen, and of course us teachers.  Will, someday you will be grown up, but I implore you to find heroes in your life. In the mean time, you and I can share Ralph!


Love ya son,

Dad

The spice of life

Dear Will,

This past weekend we celebrated your second Mother's Day and you did loads of awesome stuff for mom.  You took down all of the shutters on the house and painted them a new color mom wanted.  Then you installed them while hanging out of the window, smashed your foot, arm, and leg with the ladder.  You plan to buy mom a new swim suit for the summer and cooked a really nice steak.  Well, maybe I did those things, but it was from you for sure.

You have to understand that the first love of your life was your mom.  You love her with out bounds or fear of other's opinions.  I do too, but it is a different kind of love.  The kind of love I wish for you some day with a spouse of your choosing.  I don't care if it is a guy or girl as long as you are happy and you enjoy making that person happy.  That my boy is my greatest hope for you.

See Will, I believe that love is what drives every man and woman in all situations.  Sure there will be a guy who loves his car, bike, boat, dog.  A woman who loves her shoes, purse, house, etc.  However, there are two types of love that are worth focusing on.  Number one is the parent child love.  The kind that made me want to kill a dog who attacked you.  I couldn't control myself thinking I needed todo anything   and everything to protect you.  It will be the same way when your sister dates boys.  I watch this with my friends who also have daughters and hope to pull this off some day.  WHEN I do, it will be  epic!  Check this out  You cannot tell me that isn't funny.

Ok, back to my point...The love you feel for your mom and I as well as Gabby is unique to how you see your family.  It changes as you get older and when your mom pisses you off.  I of course will never piss you off, so we are good.  Then there is the love you have when you are crazy head over heels falling in love.  Like the way I love your mom.  This is the type of love is when you are able to breath easier when that person in the same room with you.  The kind of love that makes you excited just to think about them.  The kind of love that you have no problem sacrificing anything and everything you own or could do to make them happy.  It is the kind of love that Dr. Phil says isn't good.  He is a wind bag and if you start buying into his bs then we will have to start over and un-train the crap right out of you.

Someday I hope you find your true love.  It took me a rough draft before I could have my final one.  Your mom is something special,unlike any woman I have ever met.  She isn't perfect, but none of us are and I find her perfect for me.  Now, that is what you need to find, someone for you like your mom is for me.

Good luck son!


Love ya,

Dad

A little for you and a little for me.

Dear Will,

Good morning son!  I needed to say that as I didn't get to see you before I headed off to work this morning and I was thinking about you a lot last night and when I woke up this morning.  I was thinking mostly about the fun times we had lad night playing and all of us, even Gabby, piled into our bed after your bath to watch a movie.  You couldn't have been more excited to have all of us there and to be honest it was a blast.

This got me thinking about love and how much I love your mom and you kids.  See a good relationship goes through ups and downs, mostly ups as anyone who is in love tries to minimize the downs.  Your mom and I don't have many downs and when we do we try to work them out together with honest communication.  We are far from perfect and both know that we will not always see eye to eye on everything.  That might sound like a bad thing, but it is exactly the opposite.  Any good relationship takes hard work to make it work.  So what does it mean to work hard relationship?  Well, for your mom and I it means giving the other person what they want as much as they can w/o hurting anyone.  For example I tell your mom she is beautiful everyday.  That is something I have done our entire relationship.  I try to help cleanthe house after you mess it up, cook, rub her back or shoulders if she has had a hard day.  I also listen, but your mom might say I talk to much.  I suppose I do, but I mean well.

The lesson here is to put other's needs, even if they are small, before your own.  Not allof the time, but most of the time.  If you give a little then it is ok to ask for a little.  Your mom does tons of stuff for me and we are good at the give and take.  It isn't always easy, but that is what makes the hard work worth it.  In your future relationships try to make your partner feel loved.  This isn't about sex or making out, this is about kindness, putting him or her first often enough so that they feel it.  When you enjoy doing for others it becomes intoxicating.  You want to please because it makes you feel good.  There is nothign wrong with feeling great about giving...just make sure it is a two way street and you don't get taken advantage of. That is a fine line to walk and will take practice.  You will get hurt many times before you understand what works best for you. The great thing is that when you find someone who shares this type of thinking...well that is when love happens.  That my boy is why love can be so wonderful.  That is why I love your mom so much.



Rule:  If you get married you have to put your spouse first above everyone else.

You have very little say in being a part of a family.  You didn't pick me as a dad the same way I didn't pick you as a son.  We just happened to be stuck together...for which I am grateful.  I did however, chose to be with your mom and that choice is one of my greatest ones ever.  You will not choose your spouse's family and I hope you love them as your own, but you might not.  They might irritate the hell out of you, but they come with your spouse.  No matter what you deal with, your wife comes first...as often as is needed.  You have to be the rock she anchors herself to.



All for now.

Love ya

Dad

MOPAR or no car!

Dear Will,

I wanted to talk to you today about having favorite things and what that means as you get older.  Right now as a 2 year old boy you have a few things you love.  Movies, chocolate (we are going to blame your mom for that), and of course your blue jacket.  I too have my favorite things and while it would make me the happiest dad ever if my favorite things became your favorite things, I want you to make up your own mind...with a few exceptions the we will tackle along the way.

The number one rule in our house is that at no time in your life will you be allowed or will it be tolerated to root or like the New York Yankees.  We root for the Boston Red Sox and that is something you were born into and have to adopt as your own.  Sorry pal, but this one is being decided for you.  You will understand as you get older why, but this is just one of those things you have to go with me on.

In the big picture in all of this is the idea that we all have things we like and you shouldn't let others dictate that to you.  Yeah I know I am dictating the Red Sox to you, but that is a good thing.  Someday you are going to find yourself in a place where others disagree with what you like and you might feel a bit uncomfortable.  It is ok for others to have their opinions, just as it is ok for you to have yours.  Your opinion tells other people who you are by allowing them to see what you like and dislike.  You and I will not always like the same things and we both know we will not always agree on what you are doing, but I will learn to listen and respect your opinions.  That leads us to the next rule you need to learn.


I stole this from Stephen Covey

Rule:  Seek first to understand then to be understood.

What this means is to listen to others before asserting yourself or your opinions onto others.  Listen to others to gain new perspectives, new ideas, or to strengthen your own arguments.  I get annoyed by people constantly telling me what to think, how to feel, and what is right and wrong.  In the end it is up to you just as it is up to me to make my own decisions.  Yet, I listen to what other folks have to say to guide me.  Your mom is a huge help to me except for when it has to deal with cars, motorcycles, the house, you, your sister, and most other things.  :)  Yet I love all of her and her help.  Remember the earlier rule.  A happy wife is a happy life.


You can see in my links some of my favorite things ad who knows maybe they will become some of your favorite things.  Just remember to think for yourself and listen to others just for knowledge sake.

Love ya!

Dad

Families aren't always what you read about in story books.

Dear Will,

I wanted to take a brief moment to explain our family to you so that you have on record how we all came to be.  Let us begin with the obvious info.  You belong to mommy and I, we are your parents and you were our little miracle as mom and I loved each other very much.  You also have a sister Gabby, whom you have called Bobby ever since you could talk.  We love her very much, but you two have different mothers.  See mom and I were both married to different people before we met each other.  While I was married before, I had Gabby with her mom.  Your mom did not have any children before you as she was waiting to have you with me...that is what I tell myself. :)

You know mommy's parents (grammy and gramps) her sisters and their husbands (Uncle Dave and Aunt Kate, their kids Sophie and Jack) and then there is mommy's other sister (Uncle Kevin and Aunt Kristy).  I don't have parents like mom has.  You see my parents are bad people and either they did not want to be in our lives or we chose to eliminate then from our family.  So my family is now you, Gabby, and mom and all of her family.  They are all wonderful people and your grandfather used to ride Harleys a bunch, but no longer does.  We will talk about that another time.

The point to all of this back ground besides a simple explanation is that family is so much more than who you are related to by blood.  In fact I have few blood relatives that I actually call family.  See family to me are people who look out for you, love you for all of the good stuff and help you fix the bad stuff.  Take Uncle Eddie and Aunt Nancy for example.  They are wonderful people we met when we moved into our house.  They love you so much that they became like family to us.  You have and will learn so much about cars, fixing stuff, and motorcycles from Uncle Eddie (that is how I learned) and Aunt Nancy is one of the most positive and happy people you will ever meet.  If you end up being grumpy like Uncle Eddie and I then you need an Aunt Nancy to keep you happy.

Anyway, my point in all  of this is to let you know that some day you might get married and have more family.  You don't get to pick them, but if your wife is a wonderful person, most likely she will have great family.  Mom and I want you to know that you will always have us to lean on or kick you in the paqnts if need be, but whatever you seek we will deliver with love.

You are an aazing little boy already and we love you loads.

Until next time.

Love Dad

Remembering fondly

Dear Will,

As usual I got up with you this morning with you upset and wanting mommy, which is a typical routine we have.  You see our relationship is a strange one that ebbs and flows between happy and "get away from me."  The latter being a bit harder for me to deal with.  I love you pal and always will no matter what you do, however you and I show it a bit differently.  Sure your mom is great to cuddle with...how do you think you got here, but you and I tend to compete for her attention.  You usually win you little stinker.

While you most likely will have little memory of this, your current favorite thing is to eat a cookie (which you call titty making me laugh every time) and watch a movie.  This morning it was Cinderella and your favorite part are the mice messing with the cat.  You giggle and squeal as though you funniest ever.  I need to video tape it and link it here so you can see what you were like when you were a wee boy.  It is one of my favorite times of the day.  Your smile and laugh are pure joy and unlike anything you see on an adult.  Shame as it is contagious.

I didn't have much today to share other than what was posted, but I love you Will, you are my boy and I love everyday we have together.


Rule #2

Your mom is always right, even when she is wrong she is just testing us.  A happy wife equals a happy life.


Love ya,

Dad

Will, I hope you know how much I love you.

My dear boy.

I have thought about writing to you ever since you were in your mom's belly.  I was so excited to meet you that I never made myself write down my thoughts about being your dad.  I thought now that you are just 2 that I might be able to put into to words how crazy I am about being your dad and some life  lessons I can try to pass on.  I do hope that we have many wonderful conversations that allow me to impart my wisdom or whatever you might think of it onto you.  You know I didn't have a dad growing up, so my hope is that we learn a few lessons together.  Write our own history together if you will.  So let me paint a picture of your first two years with me as best I can in hopes you get a glimpse of what it was like inthe beginning.



March 1st, 2012

Today was your birthday and we had this plkanned as you were a c-section birth.  Your were all twisted in some sort of strange yoga pose and well couldn't be born normally.  I want you to remember that word normal as you have yet to be the normal child.  So there you were born around 10ish I think and you came out screaming with your legs pointed towards your head.  Almost like a doll withthe legs turned up.  It was odd, but there you were my boy.  I was pretty excited, but worried about your mom as she had a difficult time with the birth and I wanted to make sure she was ok.  You were having some small issues with breathing onyour own the way the doctors took you away from us and I was not happy.  I know they needed to, but well, you were my son and I wanted to protect you.

You spent the next several hours in the intensive care unit for babies.  I visited you many times and I have to admit it broke my heart to see you in this state.  Thank goodness it didn't last long and you were with us later that day.  I will never forget how small and fragile you looked and how helpless I felt.  Worst feeling ever for a dad for sure!  Your mom also had some issues after you came and so we spent a few extra days in the hospital aking sure everyone was ok.  I couldn't wait until we could take you home.

Your first two years of life seem like a blur to me.  We loved you so much and mom and i often argued who held you or gave you a bottle.  Typically it was during the night when we would begin pushing each other out of bed to take care of you.  I never slept so I typically took you in the morning before I went back to work.  One of our best moments with you was figuring out the diaper on a boy issue.  You would pee all over the place when your diaper was on or wet all through your clothes and bed.  Finally we figured out the problem and began to "tuck" you away in the diaper and the problem was solved.  We laughed about that for a long time.

You and I have a long future ahead of us, so that is all for today.  We will pick this up soon, as I have loads to share.


I wanted to end each note with a rule that I want you to follow.  Now, remember I didn't have any father guiding me, so these are rules I have learned on my own or seem like common sense.

Rule #1:  Never hit a girl, for any reason.  No matter what it is, no one will understand and never be on your side.


Love ya buddy.

Dad